|
Sandboxes asks, "I am 47, "Bob" is 39. We connected using 'Are You Interested' on Facebook and he added me as a friend. Then it turned out we have a mutual friend in his brother-in-law. I told Bob I am attracted to him and would like to meet for a coffee. Bob says he doesn't "see a match".
Two weeks ago Bob abruptly announced he just started dating someone and "it's serious". Despite this, Bob told me in the past he's too shy to approach women and he waits for them to ask him out. From what I can see of his profile, Bob is a serial dater and has children from two previous relationships. He just seems to be lost without a woman in his life and he frequently adds new women he meets on "Are You Interested".
My question: What is Bob's problem? I've told him I'm interested. He knows what I look like. He knows my background, schooling, etc. His brother-in-law has met me, knows my reputation, and in fact told me that Bob was talking about me at a family get-together recently. But Bob would rather date other women. Are all men this confusing, with mixed messages and rules that only they know?"
Sandboxes, I'm going to be blunt: Bob doesn't have a problem. You do. Why are you investing so much time and energy into a man who, by your own admission, isn't dateable nor interested? He made it clear from the start when you asked him out that he didn't see a match. How is that playing by dating rules only he knows? Sure, the rejection hurts. Yet he was honest, and I've lost count of the women who have told me throughout the years, "Why couldn't he just tell me he wasn't interested?" |
